Kobe

We said goodbye to Kobe and Gigi today. I loved Kobe Bryant. He brought me and my family so much joy over his 20-year playing career. We adored him. We even named our first dog Kobe. Being a Laker fan in the early 2000s was a gift from the heavens. After a decade of Showtime, the mid to late ’90s were a little bleak for the Purple and Gold. Thankfully, Jerry West was the Lakers GM. In 1996 West traded a cigarette smoking, Yugoslavian, fan-favorite and all-star center for an unknown 17- year-old high school kid. I guess the logo knew a little something about basketball. In his first year, we didn’t have any way to know what Kobe was to become. The 4 painful airballs in Utah were tough to stomach. Fast forward a few years and it was clear that Kobe was the one taking the game-winning shot. And Kobe almost always made the shot. He put so many daggers in opponents across the NBA that he could have owned a dagger shop! I witnessed many of those shots live in Portland. I relished the buzzer-beaters by #8, silencing the Rose Garden. Again and again, Blazer fans walked slowly out of the arena like zombies. My son loved Kobe too and had a number 8 jersey by the time he was 3. He was barely a toddler when the Lakers completed their 3-peat in 2000-2002. Another diehard was born. J and I loved watching Kobe and the Lakers together. I tried briefly to have my son cheer for the hometown Blazers but it never happened. When the Lakers win 3 titles by the time you are 6 years old its tough to switch horses.

I should confess that like most Laker fans, I am spoiled and arrogant. It’s what comes with 11 NBA titles (1). We expect to win championships every year. Blazer fan just smiled and said, of course, you are an arrogant A-Hole. If you had Kobe you would be arrogant too. In the Laker’s defense, it’s not Jerry Buss’s fault that Paul Allen could never leverage the swoosh and Uncle Phil to bring better talent to Rip City. Jerry West didn’t select Sam Bowie over MJ. Phil Jackson didn’t choose 72-year-old Greg Oden over KD. I often think that Blazer fans place all their anguish on that certain team from LA. That’s just fine but perhaps mix in a mirror occasionally. In all seriousness, with Kobe in his prime, Laker fans believed “we” would win every year. Kobe was a giant among giants. His passion, excellence, and relentless work ethic set him apart. He simply refused to lose. Blazer fans would have worshipped Kobe if he played for Portland.

I also hated Kobe. Kobe was a dick. He was selfish. He was a ball hog. He was stubborn. He alienated teammates. He cheated on his wife. He is the reason that Shaq left the Lakers. Shaq was lovable and adored by fans. He was fun and goofy and just showed up with his God-given talent. He didn’t work to perfect his craft. If Shaq had just 23% of Kobe’s work ethic, the Lakers would have won several more titles. Kobe never accepted that Shaq was different. He could never accept less from his teammates than he accepted from himself. It was always an impossible bargain. Black Mamba vs Garter Snake. Kobe demanded excellence and yet few ever worked as tirelessly and relentlessly as he did. That’s true both in basketball and other endeavors he pursued after retirement. It was also Kobe that singlehandedly set the Lakers organization back when he demanded and received a huge contract in his final years. It hamstrung the team for 5+ years and they never made the playoffs. That was selfish. That was Kobe.

Kobe continued to work his ass off in retirement as well. He was a life long student and curious about so many different fields. He spoke 6 foreign languages. He started his own venture fund. One of his first investments was for $6 million into a virtually unknown company called Under Armour. In 2019 Kobe won an Oscar for his first-ever short movie. Who wins on Oscar for their first movie? Kobe. Kobe was about excellence. His stake in Under Armor is now rumored to be $200 million. I have read a lot of stories about Kobe in the weeks since his passing. I have learned so much about the player I worshipped than I ever knew before. He would often call people, including Jordan, at 3 am asking questions, always seeking more knowledge about whatever he was working on. 

It’s impossible to remember Kobe Bryant without addressing the rape allegations. Only one living person will ever know what truly transpired that fateful evening in Beaver Creek, CO. I have no idea what happened. I think Kobe made a huge mistake to be in that position, especially as a married man. In the end, he admitted wrongdoing and settled out of court. Kobe was guilty in the court of public opinion. Whatever transpired that night, Kobe worked tirelessly to redeem himself. That doesn’t absolve or forgive his sins. It’s just a fact.

The outpouring of love and support for Kobe from women’s basketball circles has been tremendous. Today at his memorial,  players from UConn and the Lady Ducks spoke about the deep impact Kobe had on their lives. He was a huge supporter of women’s hoops. He worked tirelessly to raise the profile of that sport. There have also been countless NBA players who have come forward and shared stories.  Kobe was available and supportive to so many players early in their careers. So many of these current stars grew up watching Kobe. He influenced so many lives across the world. Sadly, we may have never known about his broad goodwill if not for this tragedy.

One can’t remember Kobe without celebrating what an incredibly loving father he was. He adored his 4 girls and especially Gianna who shared his skill and determination on the court. By all accounts, she was destined to be a UConn Husky and then on to the WNBA. As a father with a daughter, I fully appreciate the devotion he showered on his girls and the joy he got from spending time with them. In recent months, Kobe was court-side at Madison Square Garden and then at Staples Center. Gianna was always at his side with a beaming smile. What could be better than great seats with your dad? If not for their fame, Gianna looked like any other daughter enjoying time with her dad. That’s why this is so insanely tragic. Fatherhood had mellowed Kobe. He was a kinder and gentler person. The dagger shop had long since closed. It turns out Dad’s can’t be Mambas. It’s just doesn’t work. Dads need to be silly and vulnerable. Dads need to check their toughness at the door. Dads put their kids first. For the first time, retirement allowed Kobe to put others before himself. That was never an option on the court. Now it was a daily requirement. Like many dads, Kobe went to the mall, he took his kids to Disneyland, he went to school plays and yes he coached his daughter in sports. And what better coach could you have for hoops than Kobe? The answer is nobody.

I had the great fortune to meet Kobe about 10 years ago at the Rose Garden. As the Gods would have it, both of my children were with me. Kobe was injured and didn’t play that night. Somehow, now #24, still made the trip from LA. He gave us 5 minutes of his time and could not have been a nicer or more genuine person. He took a few pictures, gave us a high five and fist bump and went on his way. I will never forget meeting him. Thanks, Devin! He could have walked by, he could have ignored my pleas “Hey Kobe”…….But Kobe made the effort for the umpteenth time. He made an amazing impression on my young kids and a 42-year-old diehard Laker fan who has followed the team since 1977. Chicky Baby would have been proud.

It was my daughter that shared the news in a text. “Dad, did you hear about Kobe Bryant?” It struck me as an odd text so I immediately called “Hi sweetie, what’s up…what about Kobe?” She said there had been a helicopter crash. I went silent, said thanks and hung up. The next 90 minutes were a blur. It was an out of body experience. I googled everything possible to see what had happened but nothing was public yet. Frantic moments trying to confirm the worst. This isn’t true, it’s not happening but at some deep level, I knew it was true. Kobe had died along with his gorgeous daughter and 7 others.

It wasn’t until later that night after reading Bill Plaschke's piece that I let out my emotions. I cried. And I cried. I cried like a 7-year-old. It had ZERO to do with basketball and everything to do with humanity. The world is a better place because of Kobe.  We have all been robbed at what was sure to be an incredible second act. Kobe was complicated. Yet at the moment of his passing, he was simply a Dad taking his daughter to basketball practice. Nothing more, nothing less. Rest in peace Kobe. Thanks for everything, especially June 3, 2000.

(1) As a true Los Angeles Laker fan, I don’t count the Minneapolis titles unless I’m arguing with a delusional Celtics fan.