The Graduate

"Ben, I want to say one word to you. Just one word."  

"Plastics."

With that simple offer of advice fifty-five years ago, The Graduate began. This is my favorite film of all time. From the story to the acting, to Mike Nichol’s outstanding cinematography, and of course, the fantastic Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack, it is a true American classic. In this early scene, Dustin Hoffman plays the bemused and anxious Benjamin Braddock, recently home from college graduation. He politely listens to Mr. McGuire, a family friend, provide unsolicited career advice at a cocktail party celebrating his graduation. 

Benjamin responds, "Exactly how do you mean?"

Mr. McGuire leans in, "There's a great future in plastics.* Think about it."

The Graduate, 1967

Benjamin must have been thinking…what the hell is he talking about? Plastics? 

So what is helpful advice for a college grad? What brilliant nugget of information might I share. Something simple, wisdom from my own experiences thirty-three years ago? I have pondered that question often in recent weeks as our son will soon graduate from the University of Oregon. I keep coming back to The Graduate and that opening scene. College graduation also reminds me of Animal House and former Oregon student and US Senator John Blutarsky.** Bluto probably would have given Benjamin more straightforward guidance. "Grab a brew, don't cost nothing."

I wonder if anyone shared sage advice with the twenty-two-year-old me in 1990. If so, I don't recall. And would I have bothered to listen? If there's one undeniable truth, today's graduates share the same confidence that ALL graduates from every generation have known. They know everything. My son has it all figured out. Four years of college, and he has it dialed. Good for him and silly me.

But I still ponder. What should my wife and I say other than congratulations and get a job?

For better or worse, 2022 graduates have faced far more chaos and endured more disruption than perhaps any collegiate class ever. Two years of Covid-19, a dying planet, daily mass shootings, rampant inflation, and a likely recession as they hit the job market. And if you happen to be a Web-Footed Oregon Duck living in Eugene, OR, you endured more rain and gloom this spring than Noah.*** Did I mention a rapidly deteriorating American democracy? None of these were things I worried about in 1990. How much incredible stress can our adult children handle as they head into the real world? The college journey is challenging enough in good times. Being away from home, meeting new friends, doing your own laundry, and figuring out the opposite sex still take time to master. College should be a time for learning, growing, exploring, and fun! The world's weight shouldn't rest on our kids' shoulders, yet that's the hand these future leaders have been dealt.

For some reason, I still have hope. I am confident that the Class of 2022 will excel in the coming years. Our graduating class has persevered through so many unique and unforeseen hurdles. Taking college classes and exams over zoom and being isolated from the community has taken a toll on everyone. It's safe to say my son completed over 30% of his collegiate learning in a remote setting, alone in front of his computer. How do you excel on a group project when you can't gather with your classmates? How do you get one-on-one time with professors if the campus is closed? How do you meet new friends and have a fun weekend if you can't leave your dorm? Imagine football games being played in empty stadiums. None of these things could ever possibly happen, but they did. These graduates showed incredible resilience and forged ahead, finding their own way. With grim news lurking around every corner, they persisted and achieved great successes. Our son's college years saw unmatched turbulence, and yet he succeeded and earned a degree that will be forever his. 

So, what words might I choose this weekend as he and his friends celebrate the end of an era? Congratulations. Great work. Get a job. I'm proud of you. Enjoy the summer. Get a job. Go to Europe. Find an apartment. Get a job.  

I'll probably mix in a few of these, but not many. So instead, I shall share the following note.

Dear Jared:

Congratulations on your college graduation. It is a superb accomplishment and something to be very proud of. You worked hard and gave your best effort, and that's all your Mom, and I could ask for. Soon you will be handed a piece of paper called a diploma. You may look at it for a few days and smile. But before long, it will be put in a pile of other papers, tossed in a drawer, or inadvertently lost. It may not resurface for many years, if at all, and that's fine. The diploma is only a symbol. Knowledge, experiences, and personal growth are the true rewards.

Most importantly, you made and cultivated many friendships that will last a lifetime. These relationships are the true richness of your journey and will be one of your greatest assets in life. Time and distance will soon separate you from your friends. Stay in touch. Visit. Go on road trips.

News alert; You get to write the next scene. You are both the screenwriter and director. Not me, not Mom, not your sister, and not your friends. Please do me one favor. Just one.

Find your passion. 

Try anything, do everything. Travel. Meet new people. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Be nice. Say please and thank you. Volunteer. Write thank you notes ( Dad can still dream). Play golf. Read. Enhance your culinary skills. See live music.

Find your passion.

You may not find your jam right away. It may take time, and that's okay. Be patient. Keep looking until it reveals itself. Then embrace it. Cherish it. Create income from it. If you don't love what you are doing, try something else. Find your passion. The rest will follow.

I wonder what Mrs. Robinson would say?

Godspeed, and please drop in now and then.

Love, 

Dad

*I'm guessing that pursuing a plastics career in 2022 might not be the best decision. 

**It remains unclear if Senator Blutarsky ever graduated from the U of O.

*** I assume Noah had two Ducks on his fancy Ark.