Spring Break, March 24, 2020
Today is my daughter's 18th birthday. It's not the celebration we had envisioned.
I started this piece a week ago and am still struggling to finish. I'm scared. Nobody can tell us when we will hit bottom. Nobody can say it will all be okay. Nobody knows. This next week will be one of the most challenging any of us have ever experienced. And to be crystal clear, we are in the 1st inning with zero outs. I wish all of you peace and calm in the storm to come. It will test all of us, but it turns out we were all due for a test.
We were so damn close! Our bags were finally packed. The bikinis, swim trunks and flip-flops were ready after five months of hibernation. The islands were calling, and our family would soon be together again for nine days in the sun. Those of us from the Pacific northwest anxiously look forward to the annual rite of Spring Break. If you live in California, Florida, Texas….Arizona, why do people even go on Spring Break. It must feel like crossing the street.
Meanwhile, the Rainforest People arrive on sandy beaches, butt-white, carrying 12 extra pounds that hover over us like a long shadow. Late March is often the first chance to leave Mordor. It's a time to reconnect and share much-needed family time. With a sophomore son in college and a senior daughter in high school, these trips will soon be a distant memory. Like so many other special moments, we have taken these March vacations for granted.
I think it was last Monday? Out of nowhere, the world changed. But it didn't change in an instant. A dirty bomb didn't blow up in Manhattan yesterday. A typhoon didn't drown Tokyo last week. The San Andreas didn't just split California into two. The world changed over 45 days. There was ample time to avoid the direct asteroid hit, but we missed it. We all missed it. So here we sit together amid the most significant shit-show anyone has ever seen. People will die—lots of people. People will die from all over the world. Some are old and didn't have much time left anyway. Should the world shut down for 80-year-old Italians? I don't know. It's easy for me to ask at age 52. Or is that considered old for this Covid-19?
I'm quite confident my 87-year-old father will survive. He has lived thru nine decades of world events. He lives in a retirement community in San Diego and has been "locked down" for six days now. He laughs as he tells me that he sneaks out nightly to have martinis with his lady friends. And hell if I am going to lecture my father about social distancing. He was raised in the Depression, served in the Korean War, and lived through the Bay of Pigs and Kennedy's assassination. "Dad, maybe you should stay put in your apartment and not see your friends" Nope, I won't do it. He has earned the right to bend the rules and live his life as he sees fit. Period.
Thankfully, I survived, as well. I survived the late 70's when we hitchhiked to the beach every summer day. Yes, we stuck out our thumbs and hopped in strange cars every day for 75 days straight. Our parents knew and could not have cared less. It wasn’t like they were going to take us to the beach. Imagine mothers today letting their babies get in strange cars with unknown drivers. Uber is different. I survived the 80's by watching MTV. The '90s provided us Seinfeld and Friends, and yes, I survived that too. Are you kidding me? My generation has known very little sacrifice of any kind…ever. We missed Vietnam, were in college for the 1987 market collapse and were in our early 30's when 9/11 came. Surely we noticed, but nothing has ever been asked of us. Until now. I do have hope that we will rise to the occasion and come together. However, I wouldn’t bet on it.
The past week raced by so slowly, and yet after seven days, a year's worth of craziness has transpired. A week ago, Selection Sunday was nearing. Brackets would soon follow and March Madness was still in play. Opening day in MLB was just weeks away. Augusta waited patiently for Easter weekend. Eight days later, and all I can picture is John Candy telling Clark Griswald, "Sorry folks, the park is closed." Easter itself is now in danger. Does anyone honestly believe college football and the NFL will start as planned? I sure hope so, but there are no guarantees. Perhaps just slightly, more importantly, more than 100 million people are being asked to stay at home. The retail world and travel industries have come to a standstill. And that's okay. We made this bed. We need to sleep in it with all of our fears and nightmares.
So who is to blame, and does it matter?
China, Trump, Corporations
China:
Yep, it's all China's fault. They are a sworn adversary, practice Communism, and eat bats and other weird shit in open markets. They started this entire mess in December and covered it up for months. Clearly, China should pay a price. It's entirely their fault, and there is no excuse.
It just so happens that China owns 16.7% of all U.S. Treasuries (December 2019). That's roughly $1.07 TRILLION of America that they own. Uh oh, that is a lot of money even in Washington D.C., where they print it at whim. What if China starts to sell their US Bonds? It won't happen but why should the big bad USA be at the mercy of Communists? China produces most of our iPhones, many other tech gadgets, and they make all of our Nike gear. China also manufactures many of our daily pharmaceutical drugs. We need China more than they need us. Please let's stop calling it a Chinese virus.
We sold our souls to China years ago. America is all about consumption, low prices, and convenience. America helped build modern China, but sadly we used our credit cards. They own a piece of us now, and there is nobody to blame except the face in the mirror.
Trump:
This man is possibly one of the worst leaders ever. The only possible silver lining is that he might not be re-elected. He has been such a disappointment in our darkest hour of need. He has failed in almost every facet of this tragedy and continues to downplay the severity. We should be open by Easter? More than anything (except for critical hospital supplies), our country needs a leader with empathy and sincere concern for U.S. citizens. I wish that Ronald Reagan was still in the Oval Office. He made everything seem okay as we stared down the Soviet Union. When the Challenger was tragically lost, it was Ronnie that got us through. Even Slick Willy had his way to comfort and soothe. W. was a powerful calm in the face of 9/11, and he eased many hearts and minds. Obama was made for a moment like this. Sadly for all of us, Donald is a deer in headlights. Our country will be forever poorer. He is simply unwilling to share how serious this is, that we need to buckle up, sacrifice, and look out for our neighbors. Elections have consequences, and we are now seeing what those look like. BTW, the economy and stock market are on edge right now, so just what is so appealing to 45% of our fellow countryman?
Corporations:
I believe in Capitalism. It is the most proven model for economic growth and prosperity but its far from perfect. And let's be honest for ten-seconds. Our country is off the rails. We live in the wealthiest nation on earth with the best universities, hospitals, and medical research and are about to get our faces bashed in by a virus nobody saw coming. Our economy is a TRILLION dollars in debt and we have enjoyed the greatest boom in 50+years. Why at a time with near 0% borrowing rates, all-time stock market highs and record corporate profits are we still more than $1,000,000,000,000 in the red? We give handouts to Fortune 500 firms and very little to front line workers. President Trump continues to say, "Who could have imagined anything like this virus?" Oh, nobody, except for a guy named Bill Gates who suggested this exact nightmare almost five years ago. Maybe someone in the U.S. Pandemic office would have noticed if the lights were still on.
America is controlled by behemoth companies that hoard cash and pay virtually no corporate income taxes. Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, and Facebook dominate our daily lives. They are fierce, unyielding corporate giants that do as they please. Together they pay very little U.S. income tax, and yet they hold billions in cash reserves, much of it overseas. Let's be positive and assume they will pitch in during the coming recession/depression. If only these companies would pay their fair share of taxes, our safety nets and safety masks wouldn't be so depleted. These are amazing, innovative and uniquely American success stories. I use all of their products on a daily basis and wish them nothing but success. Yet shouldn't they pay their damn taxes without keeping money in foreign accounts.
Homelessness rages in most major cities, and yet we all move forward in our little bubbles of disregard and denial. Is it not my problem that I leave Old Town every night and walk by people with nothing? Our country is fraying at the edges, and more importantly, our planet is suffering. Instead of coming together, crossing aisles, and listening to each other, we have dug in and chosen to fight. We fight urban vs. rural. We fight left vs. right. We fight religion. As long as the stock market surges, all will be well. Guess what? The stock market is off a tad. Covid-19 doesn't care if you are white, black, weak, strong, rich, poor, conservative, or independent. It doesn't care if you are Italian, Spanish, or from Lake Oswego or Beaverton. We are all equal, and that is one of the positives moving forward.
Please know that it doesn't matter whatsoever who is to blame at this point. We have arrived here together even if we came on different roads. As Andy Dufresne wisely said, "We need to get busy living or get busy dying."
So quite selfishly, let's look at my situation. Our Hawaii plans were canceled last Wednesday, and we are all bunkering down in PDX. My daughter's 18th birthday arrived, and we are still battling over her desire to have friends over tonight. In case you hadn't heard, teenagers and our 20-year-old son are all immune from this pandemic. They share no burden or obligation to change course. Just ask them. And we have great kids who work hard at school, volunteer, and look you in the eye.
And while their indifference infuriates me, it shouldn't come as a surprise. Teens and college-age kids in our community have lived the most wonderful lives ever known to anyone. They were born during Y2K fears and have experienced even less strife or sacrifice than their parents as if that is somehow possible? The truth is that we have spoiled our children and given our kids a fantastic world of opportunity and choice. They have enjoyed unparalleled learning experiences, taken fantastic trips, and are pretty much sure it's all deserved. Simply put, they are entitled, like I am. And like most parents, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change much. I love my children more than anything and would do anything for them.
I'm sure my kids are scared shitless, too, and just don't know how to express their feelings. That is perfectly normal and I will give them room to navigate their uncertainty. We are very blessed to have a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. We have more than most and are incredibly thankful. I do wish my kids had a broader perspective on being a responsible citizen and looking out for the greater good.
But over the next sixty days, my daughter will begin to miss out. She and her classmates will miss out on so many special moments of senior year that my wife and I and her brother all enjoyed. Her high school will most likely be remote for the balance of the year. The senior prom is doubtful, and even graduation seems unlikely at his point. These realities are so saddening to me and, at the same time crushing to her. She didn't do anything wrong. She didn't deserve this. The class of 2020 will survive. They will endure and flourish in the coming years.
So what's next? I'm afraid nobody knows. I will do several things as I navigate a new normal of fear and uncertainty. I will continue to meditate daily and focus on my breath. I will hug my kids and keep them close even when I secretly want to strangle them. I will love my wife, for she is the real strength of our family and the warrior that we all need at this time. I will continue to enjoy an occasional beverage to lift my spirits. It does happen to be National Cocktail Day today.
Most of all, I will pray for the best. I'll pray for my family's health and emotional calm. I'll pray for my sanity and that my business will recover before it's too late. I'll pray for all of the first responders and health care workers on the front lines. I'll pray for the thousands of restaurant and service workers that are teetering on edge, wondering what's next. I'll pray deeply for our planet and the finite resources we share. I hope the Universe has ordered this pause because there is still time to change our course.
Please be well, wash your hands and check in on your neighbor(s). I'm going to take the dog for a walk…