Mother's Day vs. Father's Day
May 10, 2020.
Happy Mother's Day!
At this very moment, I would like to declare that all Mothers on planet Earth shall be celebrated for the remainder of May 2020. Mothers everywhere deserve 22 more days of their kids, spouses, and partners smiling, saying thank you, and giving unexpected hugs.
For it is mostly Moms that have kept the glue together and worked tirelessly to provide sanity, stability, and a square meal in these very uncertain times. Many Moms are juggling new roles as daycare providers, home school teachers, or perhaps therapists to older kids. These new duties are in addition to the standard fare of being the cook, housekeeper, laundry manager, chauffeur, nurse, cheerleader, counselor, event planner, and activities director. Yes, Dads, we know many of you work, pay the bills, and empty the occasional dishwasher; on the occasion when you are asked. But really MOMS RULE! And to the single Mothers out there, you are beyond amazing. Sainthood awaits for all that you sacrifice to keep your children alive and healthy.
The following is a piece I wrote in the last year or so. It's a tongue in cheek look at how different Mother's Day is compared with Father's Day. In these crazy times, it is a blessing for any family to have the time and means to celebrate their Mom OR Dad. Period.
Do you share "your" day with the family, or do you choose to share the day with your friends?
That is the question that has always informed my view of Mother's Day and Father's Day. Both days were created to celebrate a parent for all the blood, sweat, and tears they pour into their children and family. Or maybe, just maybe these days were fabricated by Hallmark, designed to sell cards, flowers, and fancy brunches. Both days (or at least Mother's day ) are circled far in advance on the calendar, and both are celebrated on Sundays in late spring. Otherwise, these two days couldn't be more different. Let me compare the second Sunday in May with the third Sunday in June.
Mother's Day might as well be the Queen's Birthday or a National Holiday not to be missed. Close your eyes and imagine trumpets blaring across the land, declaring the Day of the Mother. The birds are singing, the flowers are blossoming in the early May sunshine. I always picture our children roaming free in a beautiful meadow. They race up a distant hill to pay respect to Dearest Mother, sitting happily beneath a willow tree. The children arrive out of breath and fall into Mother's waiting arms, and time stops as they embrace. Never do you find a father in this picture. Not even over to the side.
In our household, Mother's day unfolds like this.
9:00 am:
The perfect Mother's day for my wife begins with coffee and paper in bed. The kids are smiling and bearing flowers and handmade cards. Mom is spoiled, and she is incredibly happy in bed, snuggling with her kiddos. Mind you, even if they are teenagers or college-aged, the snuggling in bed is highly desired.
No snuggling so far today!
10:30 am:
The family has eaten, and it's time for a leisurely stroll to the neighborhood park. The family dog leads the way, and everyone breathes in the fresh May air with a general giddiness about the adventure to the park and the exciting day that lies ahead.
1:00 pm:
It's time for a fabulous Mother's Day brunch as long as Dad remembered to make reservations months ago. Mom enjoys a Mimosa and then a few stories and maybe a thoughtful toast to the Best Mom Ever!
NOT ALLOWED IN 2020 ~ COVID-19
3:00 pm:
It's back to the house for some quiet family time, which means we all lay on the couch together. We continue to pay close attention to Mom, making sure she is comfortable and not in need of anything.
5:30 pm
It's dinner time! Dad and kiddos meet in the kitchen to begin making a special dinner in Mom's honor. There is nothing more enjoyable for Mom than watching her family together in the kitchen, creating a nice meal. Everyone remains giggly and bubbly with high energy as there are still several hours of Mother's Day for all to enjoy!
7:30 pm:
Dad and the children happily clear the table, wash the dishes, and clean the kitchen. Meanwhile, Mom rests comfortably nearby and searches for her favorite movie to enjoy with her crew.
8:00 pm:
Movie time.
10:15 pm:
Bedtime. The fun is complete. The day is done. Mom gets big hugs from her children and then a long back massage from Dad, and then she's off to sleep. Mom is undoubtedly too tired for any extracurricular activities.
Father's Day goes something like this.
9:00am:
Wake up and enjoy coffee, toast, and the Sunday New York Times on the patio. Maybe I open a card or small gift from the kids.
10:30 am:
Leave for the golf course and some quality time with the fellas. 18 holes of guy-time, and then a few beers watching the last few holes of the US Open.
5:00pm:
Dad returns home and lays on the couch for a lazy golf nap to watch the highlights of the tournament I just watched live! The kids stop by to say hello, but there is no required stay.
6:30pm:
Head out to dinner out with the family, ideally at The Ringside. We enjoy a pile of onion rings, a wedge salad, and savor some fabulous steaks.
NOT ALLOWED IN 2020 ~ COVID-19
8:30pm:
It's back home for more couch time, ESPN, and perhaps just a few more golf highlights. The kids are nearby on the couch. Maybe Dad opens a gift or two. Nothing is expected. The day of golf was my gift.
10:00pm:
Dad formally applies for relations of some sort. It's really only one of two days out of 365 that you can ask with a straight face without the fear of getting smacked! Flip a coin as to the answer. Then it's night, night. It's really, a tale of two days.
It's not that I don't enjoy both my kids and wife. They are the source of pretty much 87% of my happiness in life (62% since Covid-19). It's just on "my" day I would prefer to chill and be with my guys.
In comparison, Mothers seek a full day of pampering and dammit they want total attendance of every family member. Though Dad is clearly the least relevant.